Family roles

We each have many different roles in life – parent, spouse, partner, child, sibling, carer, friend, worker. These roles define our responsibilities and our relationships.

Following a stroke, it can be challenging to get back to these roles or to accept that they have changed. We are often happiest when all our roles are in balance, so think about which ones are most important to you and how you can return to them, even if it is in a new way.

Returning to your life roles

Reflect and consider your roles

We often don’t stop to think about our roles in life until something happens to change them. After a stroke, make a list of all the roles that you have and think about which ones are most meaningful to you. Are there any that you no longer want to fulfil? Or are there others that you want to explore or add? 

Break it down 

Once you are aware of your roles, think of all the things you need to do to fulfil them. For example, your role as a parent may involve collecting your children from school, helping with their maths homework or making them dinner. 

Set your goals and prioritise

Now that you are aware of the roles that are important to you and the skills needed to carry them out, you can work with your occupational therapist to set achievable goals. 

Prioritise the goals that are most meaningful to you but adapt them so that they are realistic. For example, you might not be able to drive following a stroke, so you won’t be able to collect your children from school. If this is something that is very important to you, you could be able to walk to meet them or get a lift with your spouse or a family member. Alternatively, you may decide that you would rather spend that time making dinner or completing a different activity to fulfil your role. Remember, we are happiest when our roles in life are balanced.  

Give yourself time and set boundaries

Fatigue or changes in cognition (thinking) can make it difficult to return to life roles and normal life. These “invisible” symptoms can often be the most difficult to explain to family members or friends. Be patient with yourself and work with your occupational therapist so you can return to your life roles without feeling overstimulated or overworked. 

You want to avoid a boom-and-bust cycle of energy highs and lows – aim to stay somewhere in the middle. Your occupational therapist can help you to manage cognitive changes and fatigue post-stroke. 

Ask for help

If you are concerned about returning to your life roles following a stroke, ask for help. Your occupational therapist can help to identify your most important roles, support you in returning to old roles or find ways for you to explore new ones. 

While we all have our individual roles, we don’t live in isolation – we are part of society. There are many community-based organisations and support groups for stroke survivors and their families – some are linked below.

Community organisations: 

Online article | ACTivate Your Life After Stroke

Offered by Croí, this group programme supports stroke survivors and their families. It helps them to understand how stroke affects mental health and emotional wellbeing and gives insights on how to cope.

Facebook group | Life After Stroke 

The Irish Heart Foundation offers a Life After Stroke support group on Facebook. It is a confidential, private and caring space, designed to boost people's confidence and help others get their lives back on track.

Other Information 

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